


Monster

by MurderBaby



Series: Dirty Hotel Room [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Dirty Talk, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Oral Sex, This is hard to tag this project was always an interesting one for me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 21:52:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12241317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MurderBaby/pseuds/MurderBaby
Summary: When Gon reveals he's known all along about Killua and Kurapika, and about Killua's feelings for him, Killua realizes what he's known about himself the whole time. He's just a monster.





	Monster

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a series of Killupika fics that I worked on earlier in the year with a former collaborator. Most of our fics were a collaboration, but this one was all me, so I'm posting it to my account. 
> 
> It is, as I have said before, "off brand" for me. I look forward to any and all feedback.

Killua hadn't seen Gon in months, but Gon saw through him immediately. Right down to his bones. 

"Kurapika," Gon finally said, after a chilly and near silent meal. "You've been with Kurapika. That's why Kurapika and Leorio are..."

Fighting. On the outs. About to fall apart. Leorio called Killua sobbing, one night, wondering if he'd seen Kurapika after Leorio and Kurapika had a fight.

He had. Naked, with rolling hips, coming in that understated, breathy way that was one of many flavors of Kurapika Killua had learned how to enjoy. 

"I don't know what you're talking about," Killua said. He lifted his voice, and tried to lighten the entire thing by laughing softly. "You know those two. They're always about to stop talking to each other, forever, or fighting over something."

Warm, calloused skin covered Killua's hand. Gon squeezed his hand so, so gently. Killua looked at those large, brown eyes, as gentle and understanding as they were when they were both still children, now set in a long, sharply carved face. So handsome Killua couldn't look at him straight on. So compelling that he couldn't look away. His guts and heart went on tilt. 

"I know...the last time you two were together," Gon said. Killua leaned his head closer, because he could almost not hear Gon's soft tone. Almost.

"What?"

"I smelled you two..." Gon said. He put a second hand on Killua's hand. Killua tightened his fist. 

"You two made love, didn't you?"

Killua laughed, too loud and too suddenly. Exactly the way a practiced liar like himself knew better than to do when trying to cover something up. But, this laugh was genuine, at first. 

Made love. 

His heart beat and beat inside his chest as he looked at Gon. Gon, the man he loved, and always had, looked at him with sad, confused eyes. 

Killua and Kurapika did not do that. They did not look at each other with love in their eyes. 

"That's ridiculous, Gon," Killua said, through his chortles. He pulled his hand back, and crossed his arms. "What the fuck? You are just as weird as you ever were, huh?"

Gon didn't laugh, or even smile. He placed both hands under the table. Killua watched the arms in Gon's muscles move under the sleeves of his shirt. 

"I know, Killua. I've always known."

Killua stopped laughing. Knew that Killua was fucking Kurapika? Knew that Kurapika had told Killua, during that twilight colored feeling that they created right before they both collapsed in sleepy heaps, that he loved Leorio, but it wasn't enough?

"That you love me," Gon whispered. Killua did not hear it, but he saw Gon's lips move. He leaned back as if he'd been struck.

"What are you talking about?"

"I love you, too, Killua. You're my best friend. You always have been. But I....can't...with you. I...I'm sorry."

Maybe he could have successfully wiggled out of this one. He was a practiced liar, after all. He'd lied to no one more often, and more successfully, than he'd lied to Gon. 

But his legs and feet could only act honestly. They stood, immediately, and moved him away from the table, as his napkin fell to the floor, and Gon called his name. 

 

\----

 

It didn't need discussing anymore. Every weekend for almost 8 or 9 months. This time, Killua booked the room. The fake names handed over effortlessly, and the Hunter's license flashed to keep the question minimal and the hotel clerk quiet.

The room was very slightly cleaner than the normal roadside flops they normally paid for, however the furniture was just as cheap, and the covers on the bed made Killua's skin crawl all the same to touch. It was a very brief distraction to start to peel back the covers on both beds, leaving them in sloppily folded piles on the floor. He didn't even hear Kurapika's quiet footsteps entering the room, and the door snapping carefully closed behind.

"Mr. Bolt's newest career pursuit is as a housekeeper, huh? A bit of a different pursuit than insurance adjuster, but just as quietly noble, right?"

James Bolt, mild mannered insurance adjuster, was the name Killua gave himself to book the first hotel room, and even though Kurapika had laughed until he almost cried at it, he'd insisted on using it ever since. After that, Killua got more than even with the fake name he provided for Kurapika.

"Fuck off, Kelley Links, you're the one who keeps picking the most disgusting rat holes in the wall."

Kurapika stepped closer, and Killua could see him unbuttoning the sleeve of his suit and slipping the jacket off of his long arms.

"I pick secure, affordable places, especially considering how little..."

Killua stood up, ready to crack wise, and snapped on the light. Kurapika smirked when their eyes met.

"...sleep we bother to get."

This was good. This was their new normal. It was a really convenient, really easy arrangement they both found themselves in. He slipped into the banter, the smirking stares. Kurapika set his shoes down as a perfect set by the chair. Killua tried not to stare as Kurapika pulled loose the button-up top, and slipped it over his head, but he didn't try that hard.

"Fair," Killua agreed, kicking off his shoes and crawling onto the now bare sheets. He crawled to the edge, kneeling back on his heels. He could still sit like this with his legs curled under his butt for as long as he needed. His mother would have insisted. Discomfort could be a useful weapon when you pointed it at your own neck.

"Hmmmm," Kurapika said, looking at his hand, before brushing his fingers up and through his bangs.

"Hmmm?" Killua said, lifting his eyebrows as he returned the questioning sound like an impatient smart-ass.

"Are you okay?" Kurapika asked. Killua froze, and then groaned.

"None of your fucking business, remember?"

Killua unfolded his legs, and Kurapika walked forward until he was standing between Killua's parted thighs.

"Right, my mistake," Kurapika said. He wasn't smiling, or even smirking but Killua didn't really care. It would be a mistake to ask what Kurapika was thinking about, because if the answer was "You, Killua," then everything would change.

Killua wrapped his arms around Kurapika's slender waist, and Kurapika's arms curled around Killua's neck. Their kiss offered each other no patient pretense. Forceful and hungry, and now very practiced.

When they were together, they might as well actually be in possession of their horribly corny fake names. Completely different people with no heartbreaking pasts, or uncertain futures.

Just two sets of arms and two pairs of legs and hungry, desperate mouths.

It didn't take much effort to slide his hands down to cup Kurapika's ass. Killua lifted the smaller man into his lap. He had at least 50 pounds on Kurapika, probably more, but Kurapika's long arms and legs, his probing and sweltering tongue, pinned Killua down like a butterfly to a macabre display.

"Take off your clothes," Kurapika insisted as Killua pulled both of them farther up the bed.

"Fine," Killua agreed, reaching around to pull his shirt off, accepting Kurapika's help to pull it over his head. Kurapika scooted back so Killua could unfasten and loosen his pants. He kept his hands to himself for this part, setting Killua's teeth on edge.

As he finally kicked his pants off, Kurapika touched Killua's bare knees, gently stroking the tight skin.

"Good," Kurapika whispered. "You look so good."

Pink crept across Killua's chest and neck and cheeks, but he ignored it in favor of grabbing Kurapika by the wrists and hauling him back into his lap. Kurapika snickered as Killua's hands continued roaming until they slid their way under his shirt, and back down to firmly grip his ass. Killua felt Kurapika return the favor with those infinitely long fingers tracing his spine, and sharp teeth nibbling on his chin and neck.

"Let me fuck you, then," Killua growled, his teeth gritted tightly closed to hold in his moan. Kurapika paused, and leaned back. His eyes flashed, and in the dark it was impossible to tell what color they were. Killua could feel the restraint in Kurapika's muscles, and almost hear the calculations he was making in his head.

Kurapika smiled.

"I think I need more convincing."

Killua smirked, and kissed Kurapika hard. Kurapika resisted for a moment before melting into Killua's arms.

Kurapika's slender torso curved perfectly against Killua's chest, making it easy for Killua to move his hips slowly, grinding their hard cocks together through fabric. Kurapika slowed, and bit his bottom lip, which gave Killua an opening to pull Kurapika's shirt out of his pants, and unbuckle his pants.

"Focused and efficient, aren't we?" Kurapika hissed. He sat back to watch Killua work feverishly to remove the belt, unbutton and unzip his slacks, and even wrap one strong arm around his waist to lift him to finish pulling him free of the restraining pair of pants. As he settled back in Killua's lap, chest pair and stained with pink, long thighs pressing firmly around Killua's waist, Kurapika sighed. He rocked them together, then, hard against hard, and heat against heat.

"Convinced yet?" Killua asked, narrowing his eyes slyly. Kurapika chuckled as Killua grabbed the man's narrow hips, and pressed their erections together again, grinding hard as their eyes connected. The laughter turned into a moan and a sigh. 

"Oh!" was all Kurapika said in response.

"So?"

"Mmmm," Kurapika replied, closing his eyes, and grabbing Killua's shoulders to move himself back down against Killua with wanton, horny little thrusts. "Yeah, fuck me. Fuck me."

Killua probably whimpered, then, but he tried not to. Kurapika's closed eyes looked soft, but his face was still angular and beautiful in the low light of the dark room. He could enjoy watching Kurapika move against him, seeking pleasure on his own terms, probably forever, but tonight Killua didn't simply want to enjoy Kurapika. He wanted to take him. Make him his. Blend their two bodies and minds together until he forgot everything else. 

"Here, stand up," Killua murmured, helping Kurapika take two steps back until he stood with his hands on Killua's shoulders. Killua had to ignore the small tilts in Kurapika's hips, his splendidly luxurious little sighs as Killua slipped tight boxer briefs off of Kurapika's hips. He gently squeezed the skin on Kurapika's left hip, and slid his other hand down the inside of Kurapika's right thigh. He curved his hand around the back of Kurapika's knee, and gently but insistently lifted it. 

Kurapika gasped in surprise, and scrambled to find his balance by clinging even harder to Killua's shoulders. Kurapika was always a million times stronger than he looked, and the dull ache from fingers gripping his shoulders made Killua's heart race. As soon as Kurapika's foot rested on the bed next to Killua, and Killua knew Kurapika had a good grip, his pulled Kurapika forward with his hands on both hips. 

The weeping, curved cock slid easily into Killua's mouth. Kurapika gasped, and Killua hoped there'd be finger bruises on his shoulder tomorrow. He moved slowly, this was the journey, not the destination, but he couldn't resist the taste and feel of Kurapika's desperate cock sliding over his tongue. 

As his mouth worked slowly, his hand moved carefully. He braced Kurapika by wrapping his arm around the man's thin waist. He slipped his other than between his legs, and then underneath, until he reached around to the man's ass. 

He would probably not answer if pressed, but, yes, at this point he did consider himself an expert at fucking this gorgeous man's ass. Killua used all of his expertise to slide his fingers against Kurapika's entrance, waiting for the right moment to slide his middle finger two knuckles deep.

Wordless groans escaped from above, and Kurapika nearly collapsed. Killua held him steady as Kurapika's mouth and nose nuzzled into his hair. He knew he was doing a good job when the groans turned into silence, and Kurapika had to wrap himself all the way around the back of Killua's head, tugging on the short hair. 

"I...I brought..." Kurapika finally sputtered, as Killua's fingers and lips and tongues melted his icy exterior like butter. Killua pulled himself free. He'd brought anything they could need, too, but Kurapika was already reaching for his suit jacket he'd set on the chair near them. He ruffled in the pockets, and Killua had to almost literally sit on his hands as he waiting. 

Kurapika returned, and tossed the bottle of lubricant into Killua's lap. He yanked at one of Killua's arms. As he held Killua's hand up, Killua handed him the bottle of lubricant. He already predicted how this would go.

Once Killua's hand was slathered, Kurapika propped his leg up, again, and guided Killua's hand behind.

As Killua slid his one and then two fingers inside of Kurapika, their eyes met. Killua wanted to fuck Kurapika, and there was no way to hide that kind of look, but Kurapika's eyes were somehow even more intense. Startlingly intense. 

"Fuck me."

"That's the pla..." Killua started, but Kurapika shoved him. He fell on the bed, hard and overwhelmed as Kurapika almost tore his underwear off, and crawled on the bed.

"You're gonna fuck me, hard, okay?" Kurapika asked, like it was a question, but Killua didn't need to answer, they already knew he would, he wanted to, he needed to. Kurapika poised himself over Killua's erection, gave it a few wet pumps with his own lubricant slicked hand, and shoved himself down on it with one practiced movement. 

Killua wanted to talk, to let out the overwhelming feelings pooling in his lungs and stomach, but Kurapika began to move, hard, and leaned over him, arm bent on either side of Killua's head. 

His eyes were ruby red, and so beautiful Killua had to blink when he looked at them. Kurapika snarled.

"You're gonna fuck me, right?"

"Ri..." Killua started, before Kurapika sat up, and slammed his body down hard. Killua could only groan. He brought his hands to Kurapika's sides, but it didn't matter, Kurapika moved like a man possessed. Killua was simply the means to the end. 

"You're good...so good. Your cock, and your arms, and your eyes. So good," Kurapika started to babble. A twisting, swirling vortex heat built in Killua's gut, and he watched Kurapika's graceful, fierce motions like his life depended on it. He mumbled something in response that was nothing more than moaning nonsense, and Kurapika chuckled.

"You love it, right? Being my toy, my gorgeous living dildo, my perfect fuck," Kurapika said, eyes red and staring down at Killua. 

He was pinned, he was frozen, he needed so desperately to cum, but something else built in his throat, behind his eyes. Kurapika sat still, suddenly, as if he could sense the change too, but it was too late, Kurapika's cock twitched and a small, short burst of white cum squirted from the tip. Even Kurapika seemed surprised, a gasping, ragged moan leaving his mouth. 

Kurapika must have climbed off, as the next thing Killua felt was an arm wrapped around his neck gently. He moaned as the second arm pressed against his chest as he was pulled up against Kurapika's torso. 

Everything felt hot, and Killua bucked desperately as long fingers touched the soft skin of his belly, wound through the curled hair surrounding his leaking, quivering cock. 

"Killua..." brushed over Killua's ear in a hissing, guttural whisper. Killua groaned, and cried out. The heat in his head finally boiled over. Wet streams slid down his face as Kurapika's strong hand gripped his cock like it was the rung of a ladder. Two or three intense, death grip strength strokes, and Killua exploded. 

He sobbed then, as he came and realized that he'd been crying. Wet and heavy, tears pouring down his cheeks, soaking the skin of Kurapika's chest.

Kurapika pulled him even closer, and wrapped his hands around him. His chin balanced on the top of Killua's head. Killua heard soft, whispered nothings. His body quaked, for a few minutes more, before he began to calm down.

Finally, Kurapika said something, as Killua could only see the dark insides of his own eyelids.

"I'm sorry," Kurapika said. Killua shook his head. It wasn't what Kurapika had said, or done, really. It was...

"I had a...I saw Gon today," Killua finally admitted. Kurapika's hands turned into fists. He hummed a curious sound, inviting Killua to continue.

"He knows we're...and he told me he can't...he loves me but he isn't interested in me like...that."

Like that.

Prone and hard and hot. Hungry and desperate, and having lost countless hours of sleep to dreams of Gon's handsome face and hands and arms. 

However, now, as he laid still in Kurapika's long arms, he felt something new when he thought about Gon.

It was still, and quiet, and it reminded him of the blank space before sleep which you could never really remember. 

"You're wrong, Killua," Kurapika said. "You're thinking you're disgusting, for what you want. You think you're..."

Kurapika pulled back, and tipped Killua's chin up with one finger.

"You aren't a monster, Killua. Not for this. Not for loving Gon. Not for wanting to have sex. None of it. None of it."

He cried, again, in Kurapika's arms, but it was quieter this time. Something finally slipped out of Killua's heart hiding in his tears that night. 

The next morning, Kurapika was still there, holding Killua's hand as he awoke.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr! [murderxbaby.tumblr.com](https://murderxbaby.tumblr.com/)


End file.
